


why did love put a gun in my hand?

by imposterhuman



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Fluff, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Identity Porn, M/M, Making Up, Mob Boss Bucky Barnes, Mob Boss Tony Stark, Sort Of, Tony Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:07:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22313776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: Bucky ran a careful hand over his gun, checking it for flaws. It was Tony’s work, so it wouldn’t have any, but it was always his ritual to check and recheck his weapons before a firefight. And he had no doubt there was going to be a firefight; he, the leader of the Howling Commandos, was knowingly going onto Stark turf.The Starks were one of the most vicious mobs Bucky had ever encountered. They were ruthless and fiercely loyal to their leader, who operated mostly from the shadows. Even Bucky’s best information gatherers hadn’t been able to drag up anything on the man. He’d ruled the Stark territory with an iron fist, faceless and nameless, until Bucky had run into Tony at a mechanic's shop right at the edge of his territory.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 16
Kudos: 497





	why did love put a gun in my hand?

**Author's Note:**

> title from dorthy's "gun in my hand"
> 
> im reappearing after 2 weeks to drop a fic on yall and disappear back into the void because depression is kicking my ass! so im doing my best but its hard to get things beyond like,,, schoolwork that i have to do done so bear with me, im trying i promise
> 
> enjoy this!!

Bucky ran a careful hand over his gun, checking it for flaws. It was Tony’s work, so it wouldn’t have any, but it was always his ritual to check and recheck his weapons before a firefight. And he had no doubt there was going to be a firefight; he, the leader of the Howling Commandos, was knowingly going onto Stark turf.

The Starks were one of the most vicious mobs Bucky had ever encountered. They were ruthless and fiercely loyal to their leader, who operated mostly from the shadows. Even Bucky’s best information gatherers hadn’t been able to drag up anything on the man. He’d ruled the Stark territory with an iron fist, faceless and nameless, until Bucky had run into Tony at a mechanic's shop right at the edge of his territory.

He hadn’t known, of course, that Tony was _Tony Stark_. He’d fallen head over heels for the man who wore too-large sweaters and had a caffeine addiction a mile wide. He’d believed Tony’s story: that he was a simple engineer, content to get by on what he made at his garage, with a passion for tinkering and bad sci-fi. Bucky would never in a thousand years have pegged him for the head of the Stark mob. 

But Tony’s mask had slipped, and then he’d disappeared in the ensuing confusion. In spite of everything, or maybe because of it, Bucky just wanted to _talk_ to him. He was bringing the gun as a precaution, but he didn’t know if he could bring himself to shoot the man that he loved, no matter how much blood was on Tony’s hands. The Stark mob wasn’t known for being merciful, after all. 

Bucky knew he wasn’t much better, but at least he’d been honest with Tony from the start. When it looked like they were heading towards being something, he’d come clean, introducing Tony to his second and the rest of his close-knit crime family. Tony had taken it remarkably well; at least now, Bucky knew why. 

WIth a sigh, Bucky shoved the gun into its holster at his hip, setting his mind back on the job ahead. Stark territory wasn’t exactly easy to cross, especially for a rival mob boss. Whatever else he did, Bucky couldn’t deny that Tony protected his people. Still, Bucky had his skills. And when the Winter Soldier was on a mission, he was pretty much unstoppable.

He slipped out of his own base onto the city streets, not bothering to let his people know where he was going. They were smart; they’d figure it out. Besides, he didn’t want their interference. This was between him and Tony.

Sticking to the shadows, Bucky walked with purpose to the Stark Industries building. It was the worst-kept secret in the world that the Stark family, famous for their weapons and then their green energy plans, were tied to organized crime. Fewer knew that it was the Starks themselves who ran things, and only a select few could say with confidence that the elusive Stark heir controlled half of New York City with an iron fist. Bucky figured that if he wanted to see Tony, going to the building where he worked was the best plan. The Tony he knew was a workaholic, albeit from his garage on the boundary of Stark and Commando territory.

(Bucky had already checked the garage; it was completely empty, devoid of even a single nail. The _for sale_ sign on the door hurt the most, though.)

It was a short walk to the gleaming building. Bucky had always admired its modernity, but he’d avoided it religiously, too. There were cameras everywhere, and he knew enough about Stark tech to know that he was going to get caught on at least one of them. Still, he stepped into the well-lit lobby, figuring that Tony already knew he was coming. 

Bucky made eye contact with the receptionist, who, to her credit, didn’t even pale. She tapped a button on the computer in front of her, and the doors of the far elevator slid open. Bucky could feel her eyes on him as he passed her, and it didn’t escape him that she had a white-knuckled grip on the gun at her hip. He didn’t doubt that she knew how to use it, and that only a command from on high was stopping her.

SIlently, Bucky thanked Tony for that, at least. Getting shot _sucked_. 

He stepped into the elevator, the doors closing soundlessly behind him. Bucky panicked for a second, wondering if he’d made the wrong choice. The elevator felt like a coffin, still and confining. It started to move up and he could breathe again. Nerves were still coiling in his gut, but Bucky was used to those. 

It felt like no time at all before Bucky was staring through the open doors into some kind of apartment space. It was a cold and impersonal area, nothing like the garage where he’d met Tony, where they’d spent so much time together. Gun to his head, Bucky couldn’t pick out a single thing that screamed _Tony_ in the room in front of him.

Except for the man himself, of course. Tony was a smudge against the massive window, cast in silhouette by the light of the city. He was right there and so far away at the same time. Bucky felt his heart clench. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn;t find the words. He was sure he looked like an idiot, but every carefully planned thought had flown out the window. Luckily, Tony didn’t turn to face him, just stayed standing at the window and staring out into the night, like he was waiting for something.

“Bucky,” he greeted neutrally, but Bucky knew him well enough to hear the thread of anxiety under his careful calm. “Come to kill me?”

Bucky was acutely aware of the gun in his hand. He tossed it aside, letting it clatter to the ground out of easy reach. “No,” he said simply. “Are _you_ gonna kill _me_?”

Tony twisted to look at him, raising a single eyebrow and holding up his empty hands. “No weapons,” he answered. “And I think you could probably take me in a fistfight.” He looked back out the window, hiding his expressive eyes so that Bucky couldn’t read him. “Why are you here, then?”

“What, are we doing a question for a question?” Bucky scoffed. He moved further into Tony’s apartment, leaning against the sofa. It was a bold move, but Bucky was feeling a little reckless. “Maybe I just wanted to talk. You disappeared on me pretty fast, you know.” 

Tony barked out a harsh laugh. “Gee, I wonder why,” he spat derisively, but Bucky knew that the venom wasn’t meant for him. “I’d been exposed as your most dangerous rival, right in the middle of your territory. I wasn’t taking chances.”

“You’re really not my most dangerous rival,” Bucky countered, trying to break through Tony’s angry shell and find the man he loved beneath it. “Really, you’re practically soft.”

“Hurtful,” Tony said mildly, but there was amusement dancing in his eyes when he turned them on Bucky. Not enough to drown out the oceans of guilt, but it was there all the same. “I’m dangerous enough that you were planning a hit on me.”

“No, we were floating the idea of a hit on the head of the Stark mob,” Bucky bit down on the instinctive flare of guilt. He had been doing what he’d thought he had to to protect his family, including Tony. “We hadn’t decided anything. But it was only in response to _your mob_ attacking one of our convoys.”

“You were transporting my old weapons,” Tony shot back. “And none of your people got hurt; I made sure of it.”

Bucky threw up his hands. “Yes, but we didn’t _know_ that,” he huffed. “And it's not like you said anything; you just ran. Natasha was the one who connected the dots, by the way. Otherwise, we might never have known who you were.”

Tony deflated visibly. “Well,” he said with a wry twist to his mouth. “Natasha always was the smartest out of all of you. I’m surprised it took her so long, though.”

“None of us wanted to believe it,” Bucky said with a mirthless chuckle. Maybe he was a little angrier than he’d thought. “Why didn’t you tell us, Tony? Why didn’t you tell _me_?”

“Because I was scared, okay?” Tony burst out. His entire body was a line of tension as he started pacing back and forth. “Because I was terrified. I wanted to tell you a hundred times, but then _you_ told _me_ who you were, and I just… couldn’t. I couldn’t think of a way to say it that didn’t make it look like I was only with you to get information on my enemy. The truth was just so unbelievable, you know? That you’d just, by chance, stumble onto the mechanic shop that was run by the mob boss you hated? So I lied.”

“Was everything a lie?” Bucky didn’t want to ask, but he had to know. He had to know. 

Tony was quiet for a long, long time, like he was debating how to answer. Bucky felt sick to his stomach as he watched the love of his life debate how to answer the question.

“Of course it wasn’t,” Tony whispered finally, breaking the silence. “I never wanted this life. I wanted to be an engineer and I hate making weapons. I don’t even run the mob anymore, Pep does. I just wanted to be left _alone_.”

Bucky swallowed dryly. “Tony…” he started helplessly. He didn’t know what to say. His feelings were a jumble, but there were a few things of which he was sure.

“And I love you,” Tony continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “That wasn’t a lie, either.”

“Tony,” Bucky repeated softly. He moved forward, putting them close enough to touch. Slowly, hesitantly, he reached out a hand. “ _Tony_. I love you, too.”

“But I lied to you,” said Tony, taking a half-step backwards. “You didn’t fall in love with Tony _Stark_. You want Tony Carbonell, and that’s not me. That’s someone I made up so you’d like me more. No one wants Tony Stark, Bucky.”

“I fell in love with _Tony_ ,” Bucky shook his head, smiling a little bit. “And I _do_ know you. You like red, but you can’t stand red apples. You need coffee like you need oxygen. You’ll never admit it, but you love poetry and classic books. Your last name doesn’t matter to me, doll.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony collapsed into his arms. Bucky could feel wetness on his chest were Tony’s head rested. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know, baby,” Bucky stroked a hand through Tony’s hair and pulled him closer. He felt whatever remained of his anger dissipate, leaving only love for the man in his arms. It didn't matter that he and Tony were technically supposed to be enemies; they’d never done well with other people telling them how to feel, anyway. “I know.”

Bucky pressed a kiss to the top of Tony’s head. They were going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> in positive news things are going well with my gf! and i dont have a lot of people to share that with so im sharing it with yall
> 
> comments and kudos make me happy:))
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr [@imposter-human](https://imposter-human.tumblr.com/)


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